...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
