Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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