dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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