you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
