I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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