I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
