I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
