If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize