bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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