Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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