Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
