oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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