Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
