Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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