Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hate all girls vehemently.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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