Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
