No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
