I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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