apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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