so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I pour the whiskey from now on
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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