Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
