I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
