So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
