i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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