Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
