I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
