Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
