Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
