HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
