Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
