maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
