Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
