I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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