i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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