My first STD was from a foam party
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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