I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
