His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is Oprah even human
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
