So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize