that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Slut skills are useful in every country.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
