i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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