He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
