Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
