Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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