i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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