I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
