Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
