my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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