In the future we'll all be gay
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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