Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
