Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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