I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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