Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
