My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
