i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
