OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
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