so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
