you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
