she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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