I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I want to be your penis for a week.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
